Welcome everybody.
Damon Friedman here with the Force for Good Show podcast.
Today, I'm going to be talking about something that's very near and dear to my
heart.
And I'm going to be talking about looking back.
I have this phrase that I packaged together and it's loaded.
I always have said, let go of the irreparable past and focus on the
invincible future.
It was something that's very near and dear to my heart because in my life I carried a
lot of baggage.
And so one of the things that I want to emphasize today, I read a quote from an
incredible person and this quote really, really resonated with me.
And I'm gonna read this to you.
And it says,
but it's no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
When I read that, I felt like, wow, how powerful is that?
That's yesterday.
We're not talking about a week, we're not talking about a month, we're not talking
about a year, we're not talking about a decade, we're talking about yesterday.
Let me just read that to you one more time because it's important you understand what
the author was trying to say.
But it's no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person than
Louis.
You know, life is tough.
I think it was John Wayne that once said that, you know, life is tough especially
when, you know, you're stupid.
I think he said that.
I kind of said that life is tough, especially when you make stupid decisions.
I think that that's what John Wayne was trying to say.
And the reality is that I've made a lot of really stupid decisions.
I don't know about you out there, but it just seems that as I'm thinking, you know,
this kid from downtown Los Angeles going through the grind, being raised in the
melting pot, you know, hanging out in the streets, hanging out with losers, getting
involved with bad people, having criminal activity, finding myself in juvie.
Obviously that's a great recipe for starting off life as in a poor fashion.
But that was me.
And for whatever reason, there was kind of like a gray, black cloud that's hung over
me throughout my adolescent years.
And even when I was doing well in some capacity, I always felt as a pessimist.
People are always surprised when I tell them that,
even though overtly I was very, very ambitious.
I always had, I always talked about accomplishing big things and just doing
extraordinary.
But the reality is that inside, I've mentioned this before, felt insecure,
unsure of myself.
And at the end of the day, I always felt like I wasn't good enough, not strong
enough, not fast enough.
And so,
I'm gonna just say that in many, many ways, as I've been looking back at some of
the poor decisions that I've made, and for whatever reason, I think that there's
different seasons for all of us to kind of wake up and go, man, you know, I'm looking
back and I think I made a mistake.
I think I made a lot of really bad decisions.
Maybe you wake up one day and you realize, hey, you know, I'm not treating my spouse
right, or maybe, you know, I'm a really, you know, I'm not good to my partner.
Maybe I'm just not a good dad.
I don't treat my kids well.
I'm not present with them, right?
Like I'm constantly prioritizing everything else.
Or maybe, you know, you've just never been grateful for what your parents did for
you.
Maybe neither good people along the way and you use them, but you didn't realize
that you did.
Just this morning, I talked to somebody who was very important to me.
It was somebody that, to be quite frank,
I didn't really appreciate that person.
When I came back in 2010 and I was in a dark place and from Afghanistan, another
combat deployment, a lot of loss involved, there were really great people that kind
of surrounded me and really took care of me.
When I talk about this and resiliency as a whole, I don't just think that resiliency
is psychological in nature.
I think we have to be fit.
overall, people are always talking about mental health, mental health, mental
health.
But man, you've got to be psychologically fit.
You have to be physically fit.
You have to be cognitively fit.
You have to be socially fit.
You've got to be spiritually fit.
That's how you're able to overcome obstacles in life.
And I will tell you, I think, you know, there was a gentleman in particularly, you
know, a pastor who kind of brought me in and
and helped me get through some stuff and gave me opportunity to start working in
the community.
And again, I'm not a religious person at all.
I'm not.
There are just some incredible people of faith that give people like me an
opportunity and a chance to just heal and to also just to serve.
I believe that's the right thing to do and sometimes it's hard for people to believe
in you, especially if you've done bad things in the past.
And so I called him up
today up in North Carolina, and I said, you know what, Pastor, I want you to know
something that when you open up your doors and I came in and I was just this broken
person in a really, really dark place, you welcomed me.
When you gave me opportunities to serve the community, you gave me leadership
positions so that I can organize a team of your people in this church.
And you believed in me.
And we started doing some incredible things.
Like we started doing humanitarian work, doing disaster relief, massive food
distribution, medical clinics, all that stuff.
And I kind of came in and I'm a former special operator, former squadron
commander, special operations.
And so I kind of just commandeered the people, but I was very insensitive.
I really was.
And I kind of just took it, and then I never really thanked him.
for giving me that opportunity, which is actually the time that our organization,
SOF Missions, that provides incredible high-end NFL level care for our warriors.
I had to give them a call and say, you know, man, I want you to know that I'm
sorry.
I apologize because when I had the opportunity that you gave me, I never
really appreciated you.
That's just like one thing.
And I did that today.
And I can't help
There's seasons in life, I can't help but write down the list of people that maybe I
took advantage of.
People that maybe I did wrong, but at that point I thought I was the right guy.
I'm a high, just person.
And I will tell you that a lot of the decisions that I make are based off of
fear.
And I preach this all the time, I'm telling people all the time, don't let
fear drive your decision making process.
I'm really good at telling other people how to do it, right?
But I struggle doing it myself.
I think we...
all kind of run into that.
We could give each other all the advice in the world, but sometimes it's hard for us
to take our own advice, right?
I have and will continue to learn from my mistakes.
And the older I get, the more I realize the mistakes that I've made in the past.
I moved out of my house, my junior and senior year in high school.
Our parents didn't have a lot of money.
I started work when I was 11 years old and...
when you start moving out, I mean, I bought my own car, I had my own insurance,
you know, I slept on people's couches, I slept in my car.
There was a time my car broke down, I pitched a tent at my high school, I slept
in the corner, opened up, you know, I had friends that helped me out and they kept
the gym open so I could take a shower.
Like, I mean, that was my life, my junior and senior year.
I had three jobs and I was running for a state championship title.
And, you know, that was hard.
And I struggled a lot.
I was very independent.
I was my own man.
And the reality is, is as I was kind of putting all these things together, I
realized that in my age now, I don't have a choice but to be the best man I can be
for my country, for my community, for my family.
And the only way is if you learn from your mistakes.
And the reality is, is that there are people
that never learn from their mistakes.
I am hard-headed, I am stubborn, I like to do it my way.
And the reality is that you're surrounded by a lot of really good people, but a lot
of times we don't understand and appreciate that.
I wrote this down.
When I speak on stage, and I have the distinct honor to speak on stage all over
the country, and when I speak, I'm very, very transparent.
Let me tell you why.
I'm talking to.
corporate leaders, I'm talking about nonprofit leaders, I'm talking to
faith-based leaders, I'm talking in academia, I'm talking to hospitals, I'm
talking to financial advisors, I'm talking all over the nation.
And I think that the most important thing about being a leader is just to be
transparent and vulnerable.
Because when you're on the top, everybody thinks that you're perfect, like you got
nothing going on, everything's going good at home, you got no drama, there's no
shortfalls for you, everything, like.
You know, you got it all together.
Social media, like everything is wonderful.
Everybody's smiling, everybody's laughing, you know, traveling all over the nation
and everyone's like, man, you got it going on.
But I'm telling you right now, my mantra, one of my mantras, you know, in life is
let go of the irreparable past because the irreparable past is always constantly
like, you know, catching up to me.
I constantly have to let it go.
This is my struggle, maybe you don't have that problem.
But the fact is, is that
so much time I've wasted because I allow the irreparable past to become present.
There was a quote recently by a really close friend of mine who's a medical
doctor that said if you're experiencing depression you're too focused on the past.
If you're feeling anxiety you're too focused on the future.
If you are you know are experiencing peace you're focusing on the present.
Think about what I just said.
Are you dealing with depression?
Are you dealing with anxiety?
Do you struggle to have any type of peace because I'm here to tell you that that's
me.
I'm a person of faith.
I know my higher calling.
I know I'm on point.
Why do I struggle?
Why do I wake up and feel, you know, depression?
Why do I find myself throughout the day having some high level of anxiety?
I mean, what is so bad about this world?
I have my health, I have a home.
I got a roof over my head, I got a great car, I've got, you know, I'm not, you
know, I'm not in debt, I'm financially stable, I got great kids, I got a great
family, like what, what am I, what's going on in my life?
What's going on in your life that you're dealing with depression?
Dealing with anxiety.
Well, when I'm on stage, I unload, man.
Because it's important that leaders.
are transparent and vulnerable, especially to their people.
And the reality is that, you know, it's the only way that I can communicate and to
be real.
There are a lot of people that are hurting and it's important that they understand
that there's a solution and that there is hope.
But in order to actually get through it, you have to let go of the irreparable past
and focus on the invincible future.
It's super important that this message that I'm sharing with you today really
lands.
And that is that the past doesn't define you, especially the irreparable past.
Like if you're somebody that made like, a catastrophic mistake in a marriage, in a
relationship, in a partnership, in business, at home, kids, wife, significant
other, whatever it may be, friend, whatever it is.
You can't let that hold you back.
It's important that you're honest with yourself.
You look at yourself in the mirror and you address it.
Like I did.
I woke up and you know what?
Our organization is doing incredible at SOF missions where we're taking care of
all these combat veterans, men and women who served our country.
I'm super blessed that we're serving in this capacity.
But you know, I didn't get here on my own.
Oh no, have you ever heard Arnold Schwarzenegger talk, right?
Guy's a stud.
He came from Austria, right?
And I mean, becomes this Mr.
Olympia, right?
The guy is huge, he becomes an actor, then he becomes the governor of California.
What is this?
What kind of story is this?
If you ever hear his message, I remember listening once and he said, I'm not a
self-made person.
I'm not.
But everyone would say that he is.
He says, no, I mean, the message that I heard from him, the first few minutes he
was.
recognizing all the people along the way that help him get to where he's at today.
And so that's why I called that pastor.
I called him up and I said, I want you to know, man, like this organization has
exploded and we're serving humanity in a great way.
Are men and women?
I mean, millions of men and women have gone to Iraq and Afghanistan.
And what kind of care do they really get when they get out of the military?
And so to be able to serve in this capacity, man, it could never have
happened without you.
And you're one of those people that helped me get there.
And I did him wrong.
I did.
I didn't treat him right.
I didn't appreciate him.
And I even, I even took some staff.
from his organization to come and work with me.
I never even sat down and talked with him and said, hey, this is something big, the
potential's huge.
And I had to apologize.
I did him wrong.
He's a great man.
Served the people his entire life.
And so, it's important to just kind of look at yourself in the mirror and just
kind of say, hey, is there anybody that I've done wrong?
I'm gonna be talking a lot about the Irreparable Pass.
but more importantly about focusing on the invincible future.
So today, when you're done listening to this message, when you're done listening
to this message, definitely just let it settle in.
Like, what's holding you back?
Because this morning, that's what was holding me back.
I felt guilty because I was experiencing a victory and there were a lot of people
along the way that helped me get where I'm at.
I'm writing these people's names down.
I'm writing their names down.
I wrote them down and I said, I gotta call this guy because you know why?
I'm here today.
because he helped me.
I'm here today because that person was involved.
And so I want you to think about that.
Look at yourself in the mirror, reflect on it.
Whatever's holding you back, man, don't let it.
Because the future is awesome.
We have eight billion people in this whole world.
And I'm gonna be talking a lot on this podcast about hope.
And each and every one of you, and I'm gonna keep on sharing this, each and every
one of you.
You are called to do something incredible in this world.
You may not know exactly what that is, but pursue excellence, man, because God has a
plan for you and your life, and you are called to be a world changer.
So, in closing, I'll say it one more time, but it's no use going back to yesterday
because I was a different person then.
Let go of the irreparable past and focus on the invincible future.
This is Damon Friedman.
The force for good show podcast.
Godspeed.